10/30/14

REFLECTION

Tomorrow I will be doing my traditional end of month blog post. I'll look at how I fared with my goals for the past month as well as setting some new goals for the next month. 
If you've been around here any time at all, you'll know how much I love goals and to-do lists.

You'll also know that I appear to love them far more than I love doing the things that are on them! While that holds some truth, in actuality... I do have the best intentions when creating them.

So, tomorrow... I will talk more about those in specifics. But, for today, I thought I would share some of my thoughts on goal setting and how (and if) it is really helpful.

I'd like to think I'm pretty ambitious. Day dreaming is NOT a problem for me. I'm pro to-do lists and daily/weekly/monthly/yearly/big picture goal setting. I really do believe that you at least need to acknowledge what direction you want your life to go. Maybe you talk to friends/family about it, maybe you write it down, maybe you do a vision board. Whatever.  

But, there are some drawbacks to this. For me, there is no filter. I just think about it and add it to the list. My "lists" are forever long. Which is great... but it's also kind of a mess. And... sometimes I think that there is so much on my "want to-do's/need to-do's" that I am sort of walking in circles.... like I'm basically in the same place as someone who has nothing on their list. Does this make sense?

I've spent a lot of this past month thinking about why I can't seem to get going with certain things... okay... ALL THE THINGS.  I joke and say I'm lazy or busy or whatever. And those are definitely things to consider. But really? I think there is more to the problem. Comparison has really started to be an issue for me. It's something I definitely need to work on. But the other issue... the one that I think plays the biggest role in my forever feeling stuck... is that I have no true direction.

You can see this in all of my goals (seriously I have weekly, monthly, season, and big picture goals). You can even see it in my post about my dream career. Y'all, I'm scatterbrained!! The truth is, I probably wont ever stop making these lists. But, I do need to learn to edit and prioritize. 

What does any of this have to do with weight loss? Well, I think this is an area of my life where it's sort of all or nothing in my thinking. And so, I set all these goals. I feel like they are reasonable enough. I mean, I should be drinking 88 ounces of water and getting at least 2 servings of fruit and vegetables. I should be doing cardio and strength training. I should be tracking my points and going to my meeting. I should be watching what types of food I'm eating. I should be getting enough sleep. 

But, the problem is... all these years (and for multiple reasons) I HAVEN'T been doing these things. So, though they are all pretty basic health goals... it's really asking myself to go from nothing to all the things. (Sidenote... this is just about my story/journey. I do realize lots of people would think my unaccomplished goals for the week would be a walk in the park). 

So my all or nothing mentality produces mega-lists with no productivity (or, very little). I can't help but wonder if I focused less on ALL and more on a few key elements... if I wouldn't have MORE success?

I've had several readers email or comment suggesting just that. It make sense. And, I mean, it can't get much worse! Ha.  So, while I will still make these lists (fairly certain it is in my DNA). I am going to challenge myself to pick one or two things to REALLY focus on.

As for my dream of losing weight? Nothing is really changing. Getting healthy is definitely a priority for me. But the way I go about it is going to change. My weekly goals (that I posted yesterday) are still my weekly goals.

But, I think right now I'm just going to focus on tracking my food. If I have time to get the points figured out... great. If I get in all my healthy guidelines and stay on program? Wonderful. But, for now... I just want to write it down (well, track it in the app). 

I am finishing up It Starts With Food, and I am definitely sold on the Whole 30 plan. C and I still both want to challenge ourselves. And, I am going to try and incorporate a lot of what I have learned into our daily lives. But, right now, my only focus is to just track what I'm eating. That is how I will gauge my "success" (and I use that term loosely) for the week. Once I've mastered this, or at least made it a pretty solid habit... I will decide what I want to conquer next.

Wow. When I sat down to write this post, I didn't realize I would be writing a novel. But this month of writing about weight loss... while not bringing any real weight loss.. has been quite a learning experience. And, I wanted to share some of what I have been thinking about with y'all.

 Bless you if you made it to the end. And, thanks for your support :) 

10/29/14

WEIGH WEDNESDAY

Y'all.... I had an internal debate going on pretty much all of yesterday. Do I go to my meeting (and weigh in) or do I skip it?  I KNEW it was going to be bad. I mean, not only did I completely fall of the Whole 30 program over the weekend, I pretty much fell off the WW program. I really didn't want to go and face the scale.

But, I went anyway. I even stayed for the meeting. And just like those Sunday mornings where I struggle to go to church... and the sermon ends up being everything I need to hear... last night's meeting message was basically a wake up call for me. I'll share more about the topic in an upcoming post!


So that's the good news. The bad news is that I gained. A lot. 1.6 pounds! SO depressing. And, if you are keeping count you'll see that I have really only lost .6 pounds this month. Not even a silly little pound. I don't really have anything to say other than it is what it is. Did I make some changes this month? Yes. I'm sure that is why I didn't GAIN weight. Did I give it my all? Nope. Not even a fraction of what I know I could have done. And, that is why I'm sitting at where I was 4 weeks ago.



Anyway... it shouldn't be any surprise that I didn't do so good on my weekly goals either. Coincidence? I'm thinking not!

MY GOALS FOR LAST WEEK (10/22 - 10/28)
Blog everyday
Whole 30 everyday!!!
Finish reading It Starts With Food
Cardio 3x (min 20 minutes)
Strength train 1x
Drink 88 ounces (min) of water everyday
2 Fruit (min) and 2 Veggie (min) everyday
Track all food/activity
Go to bed (lights out) by midnight every night. 
Go to my WW meeting (Tuesday nights)
Cook 4 meals at home (we are so bad about this)
Work more on rewards list (more on this soon!)
Daily to-do lists (I need a list to be productive!)

So, yeah. WOMP WOMP.

I'm almost done with the book (it's pretty dense with lots of science-y stuff... it's SUPER interesting... but not a "quick" read for me). I did work out once. HA. I didn't track my food (except for my good days on Whole 30) so I have no idea about the fruit/veggies and water... but I'm guessing I wasn't consistent on these. We did cook a couple of nights (but not 4).  I'm sitting here looking at this list thinking "what exactly DID you do last week Tricia?". That's not a good feeling. Although, to be fair... I was sick for half the week.

Though I won't be blogging about my weight loss journey everyday after this month, it will still certainly be a big part of this blog (hopefully I will find success on that journey soon!). I'm not really sure how I will go about sharing that, but I hope to at least continue the weekly weigh ins and goals. We'll see how it goes.

October 29 thru November 4
Finish reading It Starts With Food
Go to the gym at least 3x (minimum 20 minutes)
Drink 88 ounces (min) of water everyday
2 Fruit (min) and 2 Veggie (min) everyday
Track all food/activity
Go to bed (lights out) by midnight every night. 
Go to my WW meeting (Tuesday nights)
Cook 4 meals at home (we are so bad about this)
Work more on rewards list (more on this soon!)
Daily to-do lists (I need a list to be productive!)

With the exception of a few items (finishing It Starts With Food and my rewards list), these are basically my own personal "healthy guidelines" every week. They are pretty simple and should be easy to achieve. But, I clearly struggle with them. I will continue to focus on these until they become second nature... and then I will go from there.

I will be back tomorrow to talk about my plans going forward.

How was your week?

10/28/14

CONFESSION SESSION

1, It's Tuesday afternoon and I want to eat ALL THE THINGS.

This is par for the course, as my Weight Watcher meeting and weigh in is in a few hours. In the past I would literally starve myself all day before my meeting. I can't (and obviously shouldn't) do that now. But, I do try to not pig out in the hours leading up to my weigh in. Of course, my mind usually has other plans.

I mean, the minute I tell myself I'm not going to do or have something, my brain goes to work fighting for it. 

Which, leads me to confession two....

2. I fell off the Whole 30 plan. And then I fell again... HARD. 

So a big component of the Whole 30 is that you don't mess up. If you cheat (intentionally or accidentally) you are supposed to start over. The premise of the plan is that you are not only working to detoxify your body and retrain your cravings... but also to deal with your emotional relationship with food.

So, last week... a day or two in to the program, I cheated. It was SUPER small...and I immediately felt guilty, so I threw away the problem. I confessed to my husband, mother and a friend. And, vowed to get back on track. Which, I did.

Until Thursday night, when I got SO sick. All I wanted to (and could) eat were saltine crackers. Then, mashed potatoes. The crackers are absolutely not on plan, and the potatoes could be, but I doubt the ones I had were. I finally started feeling better Sunday. But, when C got called back into work Sunday evening, I decided to ride up there with him. We stopped and got grilled chicken salads on the way. I had guacamole as my "dressing" (Whole 30 approved!) but completely forgot to cut the black beans and cheese. UGH.  It seems like I take 2 steps forward and 1 step back everyday. Or maybe the other way around.

I know I should start over, but I also know my mind. If I tell myself that I'm starting over... I will continue to mess up and "start over". This is something I have learned about myself recently...

3. I'm messed up. Ha.

I've been overweight most of my life. I've tried diet after diet. But, in the last year or so, I've learned so much about myself.... by just asking the "WHY?!" question over and over.  I have a sweet friend that we email back and forth our weight loss struggles. I always tell her that I can't figure out why I am the way I am. I'm messed up! 

In all seriousness.... I think about that a lot. A LOT. I've talked a lot about the reasons why I think I've struggled (see my post on bad habits here). And those are all still very much relevant (and still very much problematic). But, WHY do I continue to do these things... especially when I recognize them as problems?

I joke about being lazy, and to an extent... I am. I mean, I would rather lay on the couch and read a book than work out or do housework. But, it's not like that is what I'm actually doing. I just can't figure out why, when I know I shouldn't have (insert whatever it is here) that is all I can think about?

4. I'm tired of feeling defeated. 

Some days I feel really motivated and successful. The scale is going down (slowly...but at least it is dropping). Other days? I feel like I can't do anything right... and all I want to eat is sugar. And salt. 

Anyway, I hate that this is another kind of "blah" post. I promise I'm not a Debbie Downer all of the time. I just wanted to get these feelings documented. I literally just googled books on overcoming laziness. Maybe I could justify laying on the couch reading one of those?

10/27/14

KEEP ON GOING

I feel like I'm slowly running out of juice on this 31 days of weight loss blogging. I am looking forward to blogging about whatever I want here in a few days!

source unknown
But, I am going to stick with it. I mean, it's just 5 more days...and two of them are already planned out.


And...I think it's really important that I complete this task. Why? Because I am really, really, really good at NOT completing tasks.

I mean, in school and at work, I was always a goody goody. I got everything (plus extra) done.

But, in my personal life?

NOPE.

I have all these plans and set all these goals. Occasionally that's as far as I get (the goal setting). Or, I may start working towards something with minimal enthusiasm. And, every once in a while... I start with all kinds of willpower and motivation.

But I almost always quit before I achieve my goal.

SAD.

And, it's one of the things I hate MOST about myself. I don't know why I can be so diligent and hardworking if it's for other people... but not put in the same kind of effort if it's for me and my own well being or pleasure.

source
So, as silly a challenge as it is to blog 31 days about the same topic... I'm pushing myself to complete the task. It's my hope that if I continue to set these kind of challenges for myself (in all areas of my life) and actually PUSH myself to complete them.... I may just change my way of doing things.

I know that other people can trust me. And that's great. But, I want to be able to trust myself!!

I am excited that when this challenge is over, I'll be reporting a weight loss for the month. And, beyond sticking to the goal of writing everyday, that is REALLY what this month was about. I just need to get the ball rolling and hopefully it will pick up steam and provide all kinds of success for me.

I'd like to think that next October, I could blog 31 days about what it's like to be skinny after being overweight my whole life.

That's a challenge I could get on board with!

10/26/14

WHAT WE EAT

I get a lot of questions about what we eat when we are losing weight. I've admitted (on several occasions) that we have a bad habit of eating out. Interesting enough, when we eat out a lot... we don't lose weight! Ha.

But, there are a few things we like to cook at home that are (fairly) healthy. So long as you don't break out the cheese and sour cream (which, we usually do... ugh).

Anyway, here are some of our go-to recipes. They aren't all Whole 30 approved, but you could make some adjustments to get them that way (well, maybe not the corn chowder).

CROCK-POT CHICKEN
I think this is one that most people have seen on Pinterest. It's SUPER easy. We just put 4 boneless/skinless chicken breasts in the crock-pot, add a jar of salsa (our favorite is the Joe T Garcia's Mild).  We usually just cook in on high for 4 hours and then switch it over to medium or low until we are ready to eat. Love a good low-maintenance recipe! Ha. It shreds really easy as you take it out of the crock-pot. SO good. We use it on salads, rice bowls. I also like to just mix it with some avocado and tomato and make kind of Mexican chicken salad.

WEIGHT WATCHERS CORN CHOWDER
picture from Weight Watchers
See the recipe HERE.
I made this for the first time a few years ago and we immediately added it into the rotation. I really like it the next day, after the flavors have all sort of mixed together.

We don't use celery or Canadian bacon. I'm not a fan of either.. but occasionally we will just top with some regular bacon crumbles and some reduced fat cheese.

BAKED VEGGIES (and CHICKEN)
Another recipe I'm sure everyone has seen on Pinterest is the baked chicken with potatoes, onions and green beans. It's all in a casserole dish with a stick of melted butter and a packet of Italian seasoning mix.  Well, we made that a couple of times, but eventually decided to use about a tablespoon of olive oil (instead of butter) and no seasoning (we just use garlic powder, salt and pepper) and it was just as good. We do have to cook it will foil though, so it doesn't burn.

And, we do all kinds of variations with that dish. Our standard is carrots, squash, zucchini, onions and potatoes. We make this about once a week and then eat on it for a few days. We usually steam some asparagus and have a little salad to go with. VEGGIE TIME! Ha.

Occasionally we will add chicken... but we really like it without.

SPAGHETTI
So, this kind of a given. It's one of the easiest things to make, and my poor husband gets to eat it A LOT. Thankfully, he's a big spaghetti fan.

We usually brown some onions and peppers and then add lean turkey meat.  We season with garlic powder. Once that is all cooked, we add our favorite sauce (we usually get one with no sugar added). Then we may put that over whole grain noodles, or spaghetti squash.

More often than not, we make it without meat, but brown some squash and zucchini with the onions and peppers and have that instead.

So, those are our basic recipes. I need to try new recipes... and I set that goal every month, but we always seem to come back to these old favorites!

What are some of your healthier recipes?

10/25/14

FAVORITES : WL INSPIRATION

I love weight loss success stories. Love.

I thought I would share a few of my current favorite Instagram sources for inspiration. 
@emifitness
 Emi just started her journey this year and is already down 60+ pounds. AMAZING!! She is on a weight loss roll...and I always look forward to her transformation pictures... because you can see a difference each week!

@finallyaliveafter25
 Kate is one of the co-hosts (along with her sister) of one of the dietbets I'm doing. She is one of the first weight loss accounts I stumbled upon, and she has ALWAYS been inspiring! She's very real and very easy to relate with.

@nicole__anne
 Nicole has lost 151 pounds (YES 151 pounds!!!). She looks so amazing.

@bri_getsfit
Bri has lost 100 pounds. How cute is she? 

What are some of your favorite weight loss Instagram accounts?

10/24/14

LOOKING FORWARD TO IT

I talked the other day about some of my weight loss rewards I have planned. Most of them are things I want to buy myself. I know it may seem silly to some, and I get that. But, I have a really bad habit of denying myself certain things because of my weight. Sometimes because it doesn't come in my size or I wouldn't feel comfortable. And sometimes, it's because of this mental block I have going on that tells me I don't deserve it. Obviously the latter is something I need to work on, but that's a post for another day!

I also have lots of other rewards that aren't tied to a specific amount of weight loss. These are more like non-scale victories I can't wait to celebrate!!

I thought I would share a few with y'all today.

1. Wrapping a towel around me and it covering everything.

2. Running a mile. And then running some more!

3. Being comfortable in jeans. And not having that red indentation on my waist.

4. Being comfortable in heels.

5. Losing the double chin.

6. Getting my wedding rings sized down.

7. Not being worried about booth seating being awkward (this usually is because of my height and chest... I always feel like my chest is sitting on the table! Ha).

8. Not feeling awkward, like my body doesn't match my personality. I always feel like I'm wearing a fat suit... if that makes sense. I'll be glad when that isn't the case!

9. Wearing dresses. They feel like moo-moo's on me now :(

10. Tucking my shirt in. I NEVER do this now.

11. Walking into a store and "normal" sizes fit.

12. Boots not being tight on my calves.

13. When people start to notice my weight loss. That is SO motivating for me!

I'm sure there are several more... and I'll be sure to share them as they happen. I think beyond the number on the scale going down, any rewards I may buy myself and even the health benefits... these non scale victories are some of the best.  I sometime feel like I'm missing out on all these things in life. Even if they are silly (like tucking in my shirt), they are things that bother me. It's exciting to think one day... they wont be issues anymore!!

Have a great week!!!
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