June Goals

Happy June! So I mentioned in my last post that I may do another challenge...but I think I will just call them monthly goals for now. Sounds "easier" right?

lose 10 pounds
This is basically 2.5 pounds at each weigh in this month. If I stick to plan, I shouldn't have a hard time accomplishing this goal. And, I wont beat myself up if I don't reach it. I just need to stay on plan. Which, incidentally is a big part of this months goals.

go to all ww meetings this month (4)
I tend to do better when I go, weigh in, AND stay for the meeting.

100 oz water everyday
I'm trying really hard to cut back on all non water drinks. I'm not really a coffee drinker. I do drink green ice tea occasionally..and I'm okay with that. But, the slurpees (my "thing") and sodas when we eat out are my vices.

5 servings of fruit/veggies each day
Most days this isn't really an issue. I like making it a goal though...because if I don't...then some days I don't do so good at this. I do want to up my vegetable intake everyday though. I have a tendency to eat more fruit than vegetables.

track food/workouts
Pretty integral part of the ww program. I am still wanting to share it on the blog...because it does help me slow down and think (most of the time anyway). But..it's kind of boring in each post. Maybe I will set up a different page or something? Anyway, when I keep track of what I'm eating and any activity points I'm earning (or using up)...I do seem to have better results.

100 miles on the bike
We have a stationary bike. I'm not even kidding when I tell y'all how out of shape I am. I realize the stationary bike isn't the most intense cardio workout...but it's better than nothing. And..it's pretty good for the legs. AND, I got 6 miles in today...so there's that!

30 miles walking (treadmill, outside, watp)
C and I set a goal to walk 100 miles this summer (June 1 - August 31). We are going to start small and work up to the 3 - 5 miles we were walking everyday. I'll be tracking our miles together as part of my monthly goal...along with the miles I walk with the WATP videos and any mileage I get in alone. But, the 100 mile goal is only mileage with C.

ab challenge / push up challenge
I blogged about these last week. Just those little challenges that go around on social media. We did day 1 today. And...I'm thinking we burnt extra calories laughing/crying at how out of shape we are. I seriously CAN NOT do a regular sit up. Maybe by the end of the month?! Goals, y'all...goals.

go to bed earlier / wake up earlier
Broken record. Something has GOT to be done.

blog 15 times
I'm doing better about this. I think staying active on my blog helps me keep semi accountable. Plus, I'm enjoying it again (kind of lost it's shine for a while, but it's coming back!).

at least 1 photo everyday
I am doing the 100 happy days challenge on Instagram. I also just want to take more pictures in general. I take a lot of pictures already...but they are all of my cat. HA. Even today's pic featured him. Hey, he does make me smile.

read 5 books
I set a goal to read 15 over the next 3 months...so 5 for June it is.

set up budget
This is something I need to be better about. We just kind of go with the flow...and here lately...we keep running out of flow. Ha.

organize paperwork
I am the WORST about stacks. Paperwork, bills, catalogs, junk mail? I just store mine in random bags and laundry baskets. Don't y'all? Anyway...I need to deal with it. Like yesterday.

hang curtains
Beause they really serve NO purpose laying on top of the stack of random paperwork (laundry basket) in the closet.

try 4 new recipes
We are stuck in a chicken & veggies / tacos / spaghetti rut.

do 1 crafty thing
I used to be major crafty. Now? Not so much. I have so many cute things pinned I want to try...and I will try at least 1 this month!!


friday five :: summer fun

It's Friday!
linking up with the girls via carolina charm

We had a wild and crazy Friday night of McD's salad and some dvr'd Last Comic Standing. We used to LOVE that show...so happy it's back! C has to work in the morning...but we are hoping to have a semi productive weekend after that. Of course...that is our plan every weekend...and well...y'all know how that goes.

SO...I've seen lots of things on social media that have piqued my interest...and I think I'm going to give a go at couple of them.

100 happy days

1. 100 Happy Days. I've seen the hashtag a lot on Instagram...but never really knew it was a "thing"....then Savanah blogged about it...and I feel like I NEED to do it. The last year or two has been hard. Like...REAL HARD. I don't think I've gone a day in over a year without crying. You know...nobody tells it you it will get easier when you lose a parent. You know why? It doesn't. About half the time I swear it's getting more difficult. I still get sick to my stomach with grief most days...even though it's been a year.

And while I don't expect my sadness to just go away...I do feel like I may need to be more intentional with happiness. So...I'm really excited to share a picture everyday (on my Instagram) with the hashtag: #TriciaNae100HappyDays and hopefully...the finding joy thing will get easier. I will start Sunday, June 1.

2. Summer bucket lists. I've seen these a lot. Mostly for kids. But...I think the concept is fun and y'all know I love a to do list. So, we have been trying to brainstorm some things we want to do this summer (well, June 1 - August 31). Most of the stuff on our list we would probably do anyway...but we have come up with some fun out of the box things too. I'll be sharing that next week.

3. 30 day challenges. These are everywhere now. We found two that we are going to start Sunday. Abs and push ups. I'm kind of shocked that C agreed to do them with me...but maybe that will help keep me motivated. Especially on the abs one. Yikes.

4. This is a little self indulgent, but my own challenge that I attempted has been one of the bigger traffic sources for my blog. Not that I really have "traffic" I should be monitoring. Ha. But it is fun to see how people find my blog. (have you ever looked at the google search words that get people to your blog? you should!). Anyway...the challenge. I know I didn't even really complete it...but I do think the challenge made me more conscious about some things (water and fruits/veggies). So...I'm trying to think of a monthly challenge for June. Probably something very similar to the last one...but also incorporating some of the other challenges above. I'm going to try and get this done by Sunday.

5. I go through reading phases...and I've been in a bit of a lull. But I LOVE to read during the summer. I'm hoping to read about 15 books before Sept 1. I'm about 2 books ahead of schedule on my 52 in 52 challenge...but I haven't read a book in a couple of weeks...so I need to get motivated! I've got lots of books on my list...but I'm going to try and pick some fun ones to read this summer.

I'll just go ahead and state the obvious (if you've been reading my blog for any time at all)....while I do love a good list/challenge/etc...my track record of success is less than admirable. Ha.  But..isn't there some saying about missing 100% of the shots you don't take? That is me. I figure the challenge motivates me to try and do some things that are out of my comfort zone. I'm going to try and not beat myself up for imperfect challenges and instead, just have fun! And...if I actually accomplish some things?

Icing on the cake.

Which I will try not to eat.


catch up!

I have a thing for clouds. They were pretty amazing yesterday.
It's 10pm and my husband (and cat) are both snoring. Must be a man thing. I swear C falls asleep the second he decides to. I don't think I've ever been that way! I know it's just a bad habit but I rarely get sleepy before like 2am. And..then even when I am sleepy...my mind kicks it into overdrive.

So...it's been a week since I last posted. 3 day weekend threw me for a loop. Still confused about what day it is! Ha. I kept thinking it was Friday...but then I thought yesterday was Tuesday. I probably need to work on that sleep thing...I'm all messed up.

The weekend was pretty low key. We didn't really have any plans anyway. C went to do some work at his parent's house and I ran some errands and then I had a headache pretty much all three days. It would come and go...but I just didn't feel like doing anything. Which sucked, because we missed dinner with friends.

We did have ourselves a little movie marathon though. We finally saw Draft Day. I LOVED it. I love football. Kevin Costner reminds me of my dad. I love football. I think Jennifer Garner is adorable. I love football. Anyway, it was really cute. I kind of want to see it again!!

We also watched (at home): Ride Along (funny), Hangover (for like the 100th time...still funny), Grown Ups 2 (dumb), Fun with D!ck and Jane (we've seen it before...but it's pretty funny) (don't need any weird search hits...ha.), Tower Heist (again),  Elf (love), and The Secret Life of Walter Mitty...which was really good after we got into it. There is also this documentary series on the Smithsonian Channel called Aerial America. We have watched a bunch of them but Texas finally came on so we watched most of that. They are really interesting.

The travel bug bit us while we were watching Walter Mitty and Aerial America. So...we are trying to rearrange some things (mostly finances) to see if we can go somewhere fun!!

My diet has been about 50/50. I'm just so stressed about it. I honestly think that the stress is causing the headaches. That is crazy. I need to get things under control!! I have kept track of most of what I have been eating, but I wont bore y'all with that mess. I am going to start tracking/sharing again tomorrow though. I know y'all have just been dying to see it! Ha.


owning up

I put that picture on facebook and instagram yesterday for TBT. It's from the spring of 2001, I think. I'd been dating C for about 8 months...and that was our first "professional" picture together. I think our next (and last) was our wedding? SAD. I'm not one for getting my picture made when I'm fluffy! So...basically...I never get my picture made.

Anyway...I had got to my lowest adult weight the summer I met C. I think I weighed around 175 when I met him. Not skinny by ANY means....but at that point I had lost around 60is lbs. I think my highest weight after high school was about 235lbs. I started working at a gym and lost a bunch of weight (from starving myself and working out all the time..totally not healthy). After we met, I didn't have as much time to work out and I started eating more...and guess what? I started gaining the weight back. STORY OF MY LIFE. In this picture I was probably about 195-200 ish.  And, I thought I was GINORMOUS.

Today? I would chew off my left arm to be back there.

I mean, I probably wouldn't...but I would LOVE to get back down to that weight. I know that ultimately I would want to continue losing...but I think it would be so much easier at that weight than it is at this weight. I would probably have about 10x the amount of energy I have now!

And the good news is that I don't have to chew off my left arm to get there. All I have to do is eat right and work out more.

The bad news? I'd probably have an easier time with the arm chewing thing.

Meal planning is something I desperately need to work on. That and grocery shopping. Because..without those two things...I'm constantly stressed about whats for lunch or dinner, and do I need to go to the store to get stuff (probably do since there is very little you can do with a bag of corn and salad dressing ... aka the only food in my kitchen as we speak). And...naturally...we handle that dilema with a trip to the nearest fast food place.

So, the last few days have been ugly. UGLY. But...I am typing this up in the midst of a fairly significant melt down....I'm so sick of setting myself up to fail. This weekend (yay for three day weekends!) we are getting our meal plan/grocery shopping game faces on. Praying for a better week next week!! And that I continue to learn and grow (and shrink!) each week thereafter.

Anyway...Yesterday's mess...

Donuts (one chocolate glazed, one regular glazed)

3 party tacos (with about half the meat) and 2 oz guacamole (Taco Bueno)
Diet Dr. Pepper

Crispy southwest salad (mcd's) with southwest dressing

Slurpee (seriously?!)
Strawberries with fat free cool whip
Organic popcorn

No breakfast

Schlotzsky's small original sandwich (no ham)
BBQ chips
Diet Coke
Chocolate Chip cookies


I debated several times with whether or not to even share all of that. And then I debated with what to say to make it seem better than it is. And...my conclusion? Nothing. Nothing I say makes it better.

So, I wont say anything other than I will keep on trying to do and be better.


weigh-in wednesday...thursday style

I'm not sure words could ever convey just how fitting it is that my first attempt back at a "WEIGH-IN WEDNESDAY" post is on a Thursday. I'm nothing if not predictable.

Weight Loss Blog

So, I decided to go back to my Tuesday night meetings. When we moved last year...I changed to a closer meeting. Silly because we are talking about 10 minutes vs. 15 minutes. But, I think I was hoping the change up would help me. It didn't.

Anyway, so when we moved this time, the Tuesday night location became a 5 minute drive, and that just made sense. And, my first meeting back felt "right". As much as stepping on a scale in front of a stranger can feel "right".

So...this past Tuesday, after 4 days of tracking EVERYTHING...and feeling pretty confident...I weighed in with a 2lb loss. Which put me at -2.6 lbs loss this year (HA..basically the last 3 weeks). I was super relieved to have lost!

Afterwards we went to dinner...just to a salad bar. And, while most everything I ate was 0 pp, salad bars (and buffet type places of any kind) always throw me for a loop. Like how much cheese was that? Did I have 4 olives or 6? I get all stressed out and then don't count anything and top all that off with some dessert. Clearly, I don't handle things very well.

I mean, I don't think I necessarily did poorly...but I didn't track any of the points. I excused it as my "cheat meal", which is a habit I have always had when going to WW (my cheat meal being the first meal after weigh in). And, I don't think it's that big of a deal.  The problem, however...comes in extending that cheat meal into a cheat day or two. Which, I'm embarrassed to admit that I did. Old habits are hard to break.

So, it's Thursday morning. I'm drinking my first glass of water and I'm getting my mind right for the rest of the week. I'm going to stay on plan and track. I just don't think I can allow myself any excuses with the tracking. I have to remind myself that it is okay if I go over my points or even if I calculate something wrong....so long as it's tracked. As far as I know...there are no food tracking police.

But I absolutely positively CAN NOT allow myself not to track. It's like a gateway drug to losing my mind (I'm looking at you french fries and donuts!!!!).

How are y'all doing?


Monday Funday

Happy Monday!
Teagan and Payton (from a few months ago)
I had another low key day. I went to see my nieces this morning. My mom was watching them while my sister was busy with something. They are 4 and 1. We watched Frozen sing along videos on youtube. This is what we do ALL THE TIME. Ha. I took Teagan to see Frozen in the theater...and we both loved it. I mean, I love pretty much anything Disney...because I'm basically a 5 year old.

Anyway...I just did some work on the computer and then C and I watched Dancing with the Stars. This is really our first season to watch. I only watched because of Candace Cameron (love her)...but I really really love watching Meryl and Max.

Speaking of tv...another of my favorite shows (that is so out of character for me) is Big Break. I'm SO not a golfer (though I do want to learn...eventually) but I just love this show. The finale was tonight...and I'm about to crawl up in bed and watch it and the RHOC. Monday nights are fun tv nights!!!

And...let's not forget the food diary:

1 egg/sausage/hash brown muffin

Special K 100 calorie blondie brownie bites (last one!!)

1 cup leftover pasta (spicy sausage)
1 cup broccoli
2 T cucumber ranch dressing
diet coke/coke mix

Starbucks Java Chip Frap (grande with skim) (I had a birthday reward!)

Red potatoes, zucchini, squash & carrots baked with a little olive oil
Lite caesar salad kit (2 cup)

2 squares Lindt 90% dark chocolate

So...I'm beginning to see why I'm fat. Ha. I think, overall, the day was pretty good. I ate at home all 3 meals again (we are hoping this saves us some money too! It's nice having leftovers!!). My snacks aren't too bad. I really would like to quit eating those little snack packs...since they are pretty much all chemicals and junk. And, that was the last one...so as long as I don't buy anymore...that habit may be broken.

But...I went over my points again today. If I had not had the chocolate squares (3pp)...I would not have gone over. TECHNICALLY...if I had not had the Starbucks I would be under! But...I gave into the craving (and free drink reward)....and it was so good...but probably not worth it.

Anyway...Tuesday is my weigh in. I'm excited! I know that I've technically only really been actively tracking for the last 3 days...so I'm not expecting miracles tomorrow. But...a loss would feel good!! I will probably do a weigh in Wednesday post...so if y'all want to join in...PLEASE feel free!!


lazy sunday = eat all day

Let me just get my confession out of the way first thing.

The Food:
Egg/sausage/hash brown muffins.
Low sodium bacon

Lesser Evil Chia Pop (popcorn)
I love popcorn..and this is pretty good for bagged popcorn, 1.5 cups is 2 WW points+

Turkey Tacos (leftovers from dinner)
-99/1 ground turkey, onion, pepper, avocado, reduced fat cheese, corn tortillas, hot sauce
Slurpee (my weakness)

Special K 100 cal. blondie brownie bites

Spicy Sausage Pasta, this is probably my favorite thing ever (cheese, heavy cream AND pasta?!) I make it with low sodium organic broth (no points) and organic whole grain pasta. Not sure it really saves any points (about 8 points+ per cup and it made right at 7 cups).
Steamed asparagus
Diet Coke

Snack (yes ANOTHER)
Another banana with 1T Enjoy Life chocolate chips and 1T Natural PB

So, I ate ALL day. Ha. I did not leave the house ALL day. I didn't even get out of my pjs. Seriously...still in them. Charlie did run to the store (and surprised me with a Slurpee)..but other than that...total low key day. We never do that...and it was AMAZING.

The bad news is that I went over my points for today. The good news is that I'm not that stressed over it. I mean, I still felt like I was in control all day. I measured everything when I cooked...which has always been a struggle for me. Measuring everything out and calculating the points for the entire dish made it easier. If I wouldn't have had the Slurpee and maybe had cut my dinner pasta portion back a little...I would have been fine points wise.

So, I will call today a success. It's interesting to look at the food for the day and see where  I could make some changes. I mean...I've always known that eating less crap would help. But I used to think eating at home for every meal would make me skinny. I see now it's easier to stay in control...but I can go over my points just as easily at home! Ha.  I think one of my main issues is CHEESE. It was in the muffins that C made this morning. We had it on our tacos and there is some in the pasta. Yikes. I mean, I think 8 or 9 of today's points were from cheese. Seriously need to deal with that!! If I cut cheese and icee type drinks out...I probably would be skinny!! I'd also be sad...but that is another issue to work out another day!

Anyway...I did manage to drink about a gallon of water today! Maybe I flushed some of the ick out.

Looking forward to being better tomorrow!! How are y'all doing?!


day one: done!

The magnolia doesn't have anything to do with today's post. But, the one out front finally bloomed this week and they are just SO pretty.

We are just wrapping up our wild and crazy Saturday night. Basically we watched Modern Family while doing dishes AND laundry (watch out!). C is already snoring and I am about to curl up in the bed with a book. Or...more than likely, my Kindle (with Pinterest!). TOO MUCH FUN!

We always have this crazy list of things we want to accomplish on the weekend. But, C had to go in to work this morning....and by the time he got home we were both over it. Maybe tomorrow will be a bit more productive.

But, probably not.

So, I'm going to need you to go ahead and sit down. Because...I tracked all my food today AND stayed within my points (for WW). This never ever happens. HA. The whole I'm going to have to share this on my blog thing seemed to keep things in check. SO, YAY for that. 

I even have a point left. Woot. Woot.

Anyway...the food...
McDonalds Crispy Chicken Bacon Ranch Salad 
Newman's Own LF Balsamic Vinaigrette
about 15-18 peanut butter/pretzel things
Tacos with ground turkey, corn tortillas, reduced fat cheese, tomatoes and avocado. And cholula. 
1 cup of grapes
2 diet cokes 
72 oz water 
And....a small hot fudge sundae. Ha.

So, that's probably not the best as far as nutrition is concerned. But I can assure you that it could have been A LOT worse. And, it usually is. So, the good news is...I know why I'm fat. The bad news is...it's gonna take more than one good day to fix it. 

I don't eat breakfast most days (because of my sleep schedule). So I usually only eat 2 meals. While the old me thinks that is great (less food =less calories!) I know that eating better quality food more frequently is really the best way to go. Silly how that old school mentality is hard to shake sometimes.

But, we got some stuff at the store to make egg/sausage/hash brown muffin things. C was really wanting to try them, but I think the fact that you can make a bunch at once and then eat them over the next few days may help me. 

So, I'm going to try to eat breakfast. And, less fast food (this is our main problem...it's just so easy when there is only 2 of us). And I really REALLY really want to cut out the soda. At least I got a lot of water in today. I did okay on the fruit and veggies. I have been trying to eat broccoli everyday (trying to train myself to like it...hahaha)..but I didn't get that in today.

Funny note...all they had was the extra lean ground turkey at the store. So, its basically white when you cook it and there is NO fat. It looks really unappealing. We added taco seasoning and veggies which helps, but I also had to drench it in hot sauce. It tasted okay...I just couldn't get past the color. Ha. All the hot sauce also helps cover up the fact that I was only using a little bit of cheese. Another thing I want to cut back on...eventually...(the cheese, not the hot sauce!). 

And the hot fudge sundae? Like I said...I had some points left. Baby steps y'all. 

I'm really okay with today's food choices. I see where I can improve...but I also know that I made some healthy (well, healthier) choices. Here's hoping tomorrow is just as good!

coming clean and a new plan

I struggle with blogging. I feel like my blog is the saddest, most boring broken-record excuse of a blog out there. And, I want to share that about as much as y'all want to read it.

My birthday challenge was a half success. The water + fruit + veggies part was the easiest. I rarely struggle getting these in most days. I basically made the decision to drink more water and eat more produce and I made it happen. You'd think that logic would apply to all areas of my life.

It does not.

While I did go to all my WW meetings the last 6 weeks (7 now)....I'm sad to say I didn't lose any weight. I didn't gain any either...so that is good. But, I mean...c'mon.

The working out thing was A COMPLETE BUST. Like the first week was slow going....and the rest of the weeks? Non-existent.

And full disclosure? It's 3:45 (AM!) on a Saturday and I'm propped up in bed typing this. So...obviously the whole sleep thing was a miss.

Again...I've set a challenge for myself and not completed it. I am OVER me.

So there's that.

But, y'all. I want this more than anything I've ever wanted. I want to be skinny (and of course I want to be healthy...but I also want to be skinny and I'm not ashamed to say it). I want to be able to run a mile. I want to walk into a store and fit into cute clothes. I want to feel like me. I don't want to hide in pictures...or stay home to avoid being seen. I don't want to worry about my health. I don't want to sweat when doing housework. And I don't want to cry about my weight another day.

So as annoyed with myself as I am....I refuse to sink. I refuse to give up. As embarrassing as it is to admit defeat to y'all...and to myself...I will keep doing it if it means that every failure puts me one attempt closer to succeeding.

Anyway. While blog hopping tonight (instead of sleeping!) I fell down a weight loss blog rabbit hole. I LOVE to read success stories, even when they are in-progress stories. I just kept clicking from one to another and soaking it all in. If they can do it...so can I.

There is nothing more or less remarkable about me vs. them. We all have struggles and losing weight isn't EASY for anyone. If anything...I've got it "easier" as I don't have a normal job (I work from home, part time), I don't have children to care for, I have all day to work out and meal plan and prepare food, I have access to a private (and free!) gym and pool. I have a WW membership (and several friends and family members who will go with me). I've really got it made. So WHAT IN THE WORLD is my issue?

I wish I knew!! I mean, I'm lazy, sure. But it's not like I'm laying in bed all day eating fast food. I just think I've ruined my metabolism and I'm the best (worst?) at self-sabotage. I need some accountability.

And that is where this lil blog comes back in. In the past, especially recent past, I've tried to avoid rambling on about my weight because I don't want to sound so pitifully ridiculous each time I admit defeat. But, since I've cleared the air on that...there is really no excuse not to use this blog as a tool in my weight loss.

I am going (to attempt) to blog everyday with a recap of what I did that day (mostly what I ate and if I did any work out). I will still be sharing other things (books, updates, whatever). But, I think this will bring such a great source of accountability. I don't want to have tell the world (or at least the 9 of you that read this blog) that I had oreos for breakfast (it only happened once). Maybe I can even try new recipes and share my favorites (I have a ton pinned...but have I cooked any of them? NOPE).

Hopefully I wont bore y'all to death.

And, maybe...if you don't hear from me a day or two you can call me out?! Keep me in check you guys. Lord knows I need it! If y'all want me to do the same for you...let me know!!


Happy Monday

It's 6:20 in the morning...and I am awake!  While I realize this is the norm for most hard working people, I'm sad to admit that this is an oddity to me.  Here lately, if I am up at 5 (which is when I woke up today) or 6, it's because I still haven't been asleep yet!  I really wanted to get my sleep schedule straightened out by my birthday. But, of all the things on my lil' challenge, this one has proven to be the most difficult!! 

Anyway, I didn't feel so hot last night, so I went to bed a little after 9. It's amazing what happens when you go to bed early...you get up early! Hopefully I won't crash and burn this afternoon and I will be able to keep up this schedule!

As for the rest of the challenge, I'm in the final stretch. I wish I could say that it has gone perfectly, but y'all know me. Ha.  I hurt my foot a couple of weeks ago (so graceful) and the workouts took a hit. I'm not sure I will get in my mileage. I'm going to to try though!  Getting in my fruits and veggies and water have been the easiest, most successful. Still drinking soda, but I've definitely upped the most days.

So, my birthday is Saturday, and I want to finish this week strong. I'm trying to think of my next challenge...if I decide to do one. I know it's kind of a silly thing...but I think having a challenge does help me strive to be/do better everyday. Which really, is what it's all about right?