Midweek Confessions

No big weigh in announcement this week. Sorry (see number 1 below). But, as I seem to only post on days that I update about my weight loss...I decided it was time for a mass confessional. Thus, I'm linking up with E and her midweek confessions! 

1. I weighed last night. And gained. Only .4 (four tenths). But, STILL! I was a dangerous combination of heartbroken and incredibly angry...and I'm almost positive it wasn't pretty. But, I made myself stay for the meeting (knew I would start sulking if I didn't) and by the time I got home...I was almost done with my pity party. Today, woke up 4 lbs lighter than I did yesterday and ready to tackle the week. I think my body is just sort of adjusting to the rapid weight loss (rapid, for me anyway)...and it needed a week to be stubborn. I wrote last week that I was in this for the long haul...and I meant it. Now, I think maybe I'm being tested! haha. Anyway...here's to a more successful (and less dramatic) weigh in next week.

2. I am seriously thinking about closing my twitter account. I don't tweet that much...but I do spend a lot of time on there when I'm bored (or when I think I'm bored...). With twitter, facebook, email, blogging, instagram and pinterest....It's all a little overwhelming. I'm scared I'm going to miss something. Ha!

3. Speaking of giving up things. Today is Ash Wednesday. I grew up in a church that practiced Lent, but I no longer belong to that church (or denomination). But, I got to thinking about it today during my walk and decided I might make a sacrifice for the next 40 (um, 39) days. Not because I feel like it is necessary, but because I think I am always in need of an opportunity to grow in my walk. In all honesty...I have felt pretty detached lately, and haven't even been to church in a couple of weeks. So...I have a plan for then next 39 days...to wake up when C goes to work. It's early, early. We are talking the middle of my night (as I'm practically nocturnal)...but I think it will be good for me to spend some time in the word, get my workout done earlier...and let's face it...have more time to get things done around here! I'm praying praying praying I can find the strength to do so tomorrow. It's SO hard for me to get up early!

4. I love Kelly's idea of sending a note to someone each day for the next 40 days...and I decided to do that as well. I sent my first note today (to my Grandmother...thanking her for being my biggest cheerleader!). I am SOOO excited to do this. 

5.  I'm SO over Biggest Loser this season. Do y'all watch? The very first week I had a bad feeling about Conda...and it's only gotten worse. Then, it was pretty much every member of the red team (except Roy and Nancy). And...after last night...I'm over the black team. I'm even a little upset with the trainers (cause you know they all care what I think!). I read earlier that the remaining contestants at the ranch walked out today and threatened to quit. Remember when the show was inspiring and motivating? I just get aggravated when I watch now. I may be in need of a life.

6. My cat is fat. We only give him about a cup of food a day...so it's not like we are overfeeding him.  But..he is just so fluffy! He cracks me up with this way he lays down. He just stretches out and kind of falls into this. 

weight loss update

aka: twenty, twenty, twenty!!

Y'all...I am just beyond excited to share that I hit the TWENTY pound mark last night!!

I had a feeling I would, as I was down 18.6 the previous week. However, I didn't work out quite as much last week and I feel like we went out for Mexican food like every night. I do pretty good at restaurants but those darn chips and salsa get the best of me sometime!!!

C and I had a dinner date last night (not Mexican!...haha), so he actually took me to my meeting. I invited him in to see what the meetings were like and also be there if/when I got my 5lb star sticker (it is shameful how excited I get over those little stickers!). Anyway, I lost 2.2 last week and that put me just over 20 pounds!!

Source: eat-clean-train-mean.tumblr.com via Tricia on Pinterest

I think I might have gained a partner in crime to go to the meetings with me...which I love. A girl I went to school with is thinking about joining!! YAY!! AND...and this is HUGE...I got an email message last night from someone asking me (ME!) for weight loss advice. I nearly fell out of my chair!

I can't tell you how many times I have seen other people have success and want their advice or just their encouragement. I've even been known to email a few people myself. It seems so foreign to have someone actually email me.

I am very proud of myself. I am proud of the weight that I have lost. I enjoy getting emails, texts, phone calls of uplifting messages from friends and family. It's a great motivator and it definitely makes each weigh in fun. But, I am still overweight and have such a long road ahead of me. I have so much to learn about diet/nutrition/fitness.....and myself. Any time (and there haven't been that many) I have had success in the past, I got overconfident and totally lost focus. I refuse to let that happen this time. I have a goal. It is firmly fixed in my mind. It's a long, long way away...but I see it as clearly as if it were 2lbs from here. I don't care if it takes me 6 months or 6 years (though, hopefully not!) to get there...I will get there!!

time well spent

In the middle of cooking dinner, my mom text me to remind me the Grammy's were on. There was once a time in my life where I stalked any and all award shows. I knew all the celebrities, all the gossip and all the songs.

Awww...the good ole days of youth.

I don't think I have ever felt as old as I did tonight. All because of some silly little awards show.

I spent half of the evening asking the tv "who?", and a good portion of the remaining time I had that "racket" turned down. Clearly, I'm getting old.

However, there were some bright spots in the evening.

The loveliest of lovelies...Adele. If I could pull off that hair/makeup/clothing...I would everyday...even while grocery shopping. I kid...NOT. I think I may have been born in the wrong era.

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This wasn't her performance tonight...but it is my favorite song of hers. Girl can sing. As much as I wish I could sing like her...I will admit that I wish I could talk like her too. It's so hard for me to hear a British accent and not try and repeat it. Wonder if people feel the same way about my hick twang?

Probably not.

Next favorite? The Band Perry. Duh.

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While their tribute to Glen Campbell was sweet, I wish they would have done one of their own songs. Truth be told, I would have rather watched them sleep than some of what was on the stage tonight.

My favorite TBP song...right now. They will be in town this coming Saturday. I kept putting off tickets. And now? Sold out. You'd think I would learn to quit procrastinating one of these days. You'd think.

Of course, here I sit, blogging about watching television when I have laundry to do and emails to answer. I'll never learn.

weight loss update

I haven't been spending much time on the computer here lately. Odd, considering I felt like I was on it ALL the time before. Also, all of my income comes from working on the computer. Obviously, my little vacation from this desk needs to be nipped in the bud. Like, yesterday!

I did go to my weigh in on Tuesday. I wasn't really sure what to expect. I have a scale at home, and it has always been pretty accurate to the scale at WW. 

Then, I noticed it was running about 2lbs heavy.

Then, I gained two pounds (according to the home scale).

Then, I started to panic.

I have kept pretty much the same eating routine since the beginning of January. The only new change I have made is working out again. For now, it's just walking...but a lot of it.  I couldn't figure out why I was gaining.

So, when I went to my meeting Tuesday night...I had all kinds of anxiety. Which seems silly now, because I lost 3.4 lbs. YAY!  I am down 18.6 lbs and I am beginning to see a difference in some of my clothes. Yay!

While I am really excited about this, I also just feel this overwhelming sense of "so what". I know that sounds silly, but...I have such a LONG road ahead of me..18.6 lbs feels like a drop in the bucket. 

I keep telling myself that I haven't lost this much weight in a long, long time. And the two times in my life I have lost a significant amount of weight, I did it by starving. So...when I started eating...I started gaining...and I did it QUICK. 

This time, I am making real changes. I track everything I eat. Okay, more like 98% , but still. I am drinking a ton of water. No regular soda (5 weeks and counting!). I do have diet coke a couple of times a week. (SO BAD!). And, I've had green tea a couple of times...oh, and milk. I eat several fruits and veggies every day. And I am working out pretty much every day. I know this is something I can do the rest of my life...and I also know, it is something I have to do the rest of my life. 

After my weigh in, I went to Target for some shopping. While I was there, I thought I would check out the fitness aisle. I picked up a 20lb kettle ball. Well, I tried to just pick it up real quick with one hand...and COULD NOT DO IT. Partly, because I'm kind of a weakling. Mostly because...y'all...20lbs is heavy!! While I admit the first thought in my head was "think of how many of these you are carrying around extra everyday", I made sure to spend some time and focus on the fact that at least I am carrying around one less 20lb kettle ball every day. It's crazy to think that less than 2 months ago...I was carrying that around all day. ALL THE LIVE LONG DAY. 

Anyway, that's pretty much my biggest struggle during this weight loss journey....my mentality. I mean, it's fine as far as knowing what I have to do, and doing it. It's the constant weighing my progress against the big picture.  So that is what I am really trying to work on right now. I want to really take time and celebrate every loss. I am working hard for them (though, not as hard as you would think). And, every pound adds up. Here in a couple of months, I know I will have lost more than I will still need to lose...and I can not wait to celebrate that!

a new focus

via

I first started blogging almost 7 years ago.

I was a college student, living at home, scrapbooking ALL the time. Blogging was like the new "it" thing to do with all the girls on the boards at two peas. And, like any impressionable girl will do, I joined the blogging masses.

At first, all I posted was my scrapbook pages. Exciting, I know. But wait, it gets more interesting: I then got comfortable enough to ramble on about my daily activities. That has been the focus of my blog for the last several years.

But, here lately...I'm just not feeling it. To be completely honest...some days weeks nothing remotely interesting happens to babble on about. Not that anything really ever did. Apparently, I'm pretty boring. And so, all to often, my blog sits empty. Not fun!

I can't tell you how many times I have set down to post something new in the last few weeks. I usually just stare at the screen. Eventually, I find my way to pinterest and long forget that I even have a blog.

Incidentally, while browsing pinterest tonight, I decided to blog about my journey. It's really quite a brilliant thought...you know...seeing how my blog is called "on this journey" and all. In all fairness, when I came up with that title...I was referring to the entire journey (life) that I'm on...not just one thing in particular. Basically..it was a fancy way of saying "my daily rambles".

However...right now, I am on a specific journey, a journey to find myself (doesn't that sound cheesy?).

via

On January 3rd of this year (exactly one month ago today) I experienced what I consider "the last straw" with my health.  That afternoon, I poured out my regular soda and pretty much made a 180 degree change in my food and exercise behavior.  Right now, almost every minute of my waking hours are dialed in on this lifestyle change. And, for the first time in my life...I am finally confident that "this is the time"....the time I change my life.

And while I make no promises to end my rambling (it's what I do)...I at least feel like these posts will have a purpose.

I'm not saying every post will be about weight loss, working out, or you know...sneaking spinach into your diet. I'm sure I will still throw in exciting things from my life...on the rare occasion they happen.

But, I am focused on this little journey of mine...whatever it is, and wherever it takes me....and...I hope you will come along for the ride.

weigh in tuesday!

Another weigh in...and it's funny....I actually find myself getting excited about Tuesday nights because of the scale! Believe me when I say that is a FIRST! I am down another 1.8...which is exciting...I got my 15 lb star. I also got my 5% star ... because I didn't get it a couple of weeks ago when I earned it.  I was definitely on cloud 9 in my meeting tonight. I am SUCH a nerd when it comes to getting rewards. Ha.

I'm getting really close to hitting my 10% (losing 10% of your starting weight)....so that is what I will be focusing on as I sip my water...and work out this week!!

I am not going to lie...I was hoping for more of a loss this week. I feel like it is coming off SO slow...considering all the changes I have made. I know, I know...this from the girl who used to lose .6 every week. BUT...I know that I wasn't really doing anything then...and I feel like I have made a 180 (or close enough) in my behavior the last couple of weeks. I realize anything over a pound is a good thing...and I'm actually averaging over 2 lbs a week for the last 4 weeks (they computer actually told me to "slow down my weight loss". haha). I guess I just am SO tired of carrying around the weight...and I feel like even though I have lost 15 lbs (YAY!) ... I still have SUCH a long way to go. It's a little overwhelming.

SO, I think I'm going to start really focusing on 10lb increments. The big picture seems so daunting, while 10lbs is a lot more manageable a goal (I have lost that in 4 weeks). And..those mini goals will add up quick...and I will be at goal weight before I know it. I am learning it isn't just about changing the way I eat or move, it's about changing the way I think and behave. That, is probably the hardest thing for me!

Before we went to the stock show a couple of weeks ago, C took some more pictures of me. They are still pretty rough...but I could tell SUCH a difference between those and the ones I took this summer. I also took my measurements (for the first time) last Tuesday (um, depressing)...but then I thought I would just check on those again today...and most of them are the same...except the 3 major measurement (chest, waist, hips). I was down about .75 of an inch in my chest and hips (each!) and .5 and inch in my waist!! In one week!

Yay!

stock show 2012

One of my favorite things about the new year is that January brings the stock show to town. Now, I once was the picture of a city girl, who thought I was being drug to the stock show against my will. I would complain and carry on like it was some sort of punishment. It stinks, it's cold, it's not the mall...

One of the first years we were dating, C and I decided to go. I was a bit hesitant...but ended up LOVING IT! I even considered transferring to another college and switching my major to ranch management. I lie not. While that thought seemed to give way within a few months...my love for the stock show stuck around. And now, I have passed that on to my nephew. 

About 3 years ago, C and I took Dalton to the stock show and now... we simply must go as a group every year! We made our 2012 trip a week ago and had so much fun.

Ready! (How tiny does he look in this picture? Also, how cute is this kid, I mean, REALLY?!). (Also, see that road behind him? Yeah...when we left...we got to see LOTS of that road. We moved .6 of a mile in 40 minutes. FORTY!!) 

Hangin' with the cows. They are my favorite part of the show (well, that and the shopping...I'm still a city girl after all). 

 Sportin' his spurs.

Dalton loves the animals and all the cowboy stuff. But lets all be honest for just a second...the kid comes to the stock show for the rides.

Going down the slide (by himself!...for the first time).

Getting ready to scramble. The scrambler is one of my favorite rides too. They have a little kids one (where D is) and a big kids one. We tried to ride the big kids one...but it was out of commission. Sad!

Taking pictures of pretty things is fun...a lot more fun than this ride looked.  I used to be such a daredevil...but the idea of spinning round and round while the ride goes round and round? Yeah, not so much.

Seriously? Is this not the cutest thing?

No, this is the cutest thing!!

He fell asleep about 5 minutes after we got in the jeep. We had so much fun, and can't wait to go back in 2013!