I'm skipping today's blog-tember challenge. Mostly because I didn't look forward and plan accordingly to do the guest post.
I didn't look forward and plan accordingly.
Ladies (and guys, if you are reading)... if ever there were a statement to fully encapsulate my lack of maturity, there it is.
And, as such, I thought it was fitting that I continue to confess my sins to y'all on this lovely Thursday.
Oh my goodness. I am the worst at this. It's weird, because my husband was really responsible with his money before we started dating. And, I'm really really good at numbers. I also have a type A personality (with exceptions). So, you'd think creating and sticking to a budget would be cake.
Not so much.
I'm type A personality in so much as I can assure it will be perfect and without conflict. This is obviously a rare occurrence. So mostly, I'm the exact opposite of type A. Ha.
I mean, somewhere in my mind (bless it's heart) if it can't be perfect, it should be a complete mess. Makes sense.
When we were first married, we did Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace University at our church. We loved it! We were inspired! We were motivated! We were going to be debt free! We were going to be rich! We were going to give give give!!
Until we got ready to do our budget. C was working weird hours (and got paid per hour- not salary), plus he had a side job with odd hours. I worked part-time, never making the same each month (and I only got paid once a month). I was also doing freelance design stuff (as I am now) and that is never consistent or reliable. So when I sat down to do our budget and try to organize everything... all I had to work with were estimates and guesses. WHAT?!!! What if I under budgeted? What if I over budgeted?
So, I didn't do it. I mean, we went from using our credit cards and writing checks/using our debit card to paying cash for everything. And that was great. We tried to pay our bills PLUS some extra as to pay down our balances. But we never got on the debt snowball train. We never got 'gazelle intensity'.
And, nearly 6 years into wedded bliss... we are pretty much exactly where we were. We aren't worse off (which is a blessing, of course). But we definitely aren't any better off (big picture, I mean). Sure, C only works one job and makes quite a bit more money (yay!) but our rent (yes, rent) is higher as well as most of our monthly expenses. Granted, we don't have to scrape together pocket change to buy dinner of the dollar menu at the end of the month (yay!) but I really thought that we would be in a much different place at this point in our marriage (and certainly at this point in our life).
I had an EPIC melt down yesterday. I don't know what happened, but I just got super frustrated.... WITH MYSELF. After bawling for about an hour about approximately 295 things, it boiled down to one question: "how did we get here?"
If it can't be perfect, it should be a complete mess.
And it is. Everything in my life that brings me heartache fits into that statement. Relationships? check! My weight? check! Dreams and goals? check! Family? check! Budget? check! check! check!
But, one thing at a time. And as overwhelming as all those issues are, budget seems the easiest to tackle.
So, after reading Hannah's post, I read Victoria's post. And then I sat down and crunched the numbers. I got aggravated and threw crumpled up pieces of paper on the floor. But, I now have a framework budget in plan and I've even started labeling my envelopes.
I keep reminding myself that this is a learning process. It doesn't have to work perfectly the first month. Or the second or third. Or ever, I guess. But, as long as I'm not moving backwards or running myself ragged and basically staying in place... then I'm progressing, right?!
C and I do have big dreams and goals. It's high time we start looking forward and plan accordingly!!!
Do y'all budget? Do y'all do the envelope system? Do y'all pray? Ha! Cause I may need it!!