I'm basically right where I was the last time I updated. I got to 34.8 pounds lost on June 2. Since then, I've gained a lost the same 2ish pounds. Right now, I'm on a gain...and I'm sitting at 32.2 pounds lost.
It's super frustrating. Not just because I'm not losing (though that is incredibly frustrating), but because I know that I am the reason why. I can't seem to get or stay motivated with tracking my points/cooking healthy at home/exercising/cutting out unnecessary "treats". I'll do okay for a meal or day or even a couple of days, but then I lose my mind. At this point, I'm just grateful that the gains haven't been more than they are.
Last week I decided to really try and focus on tracking. I'm sort of control freak in that I want to track exactly what the points are. If I don't know...I feel like guessing is "wrong". I'm not sure if that makes sense to anyone else. But, somehow...in my mind...not tracking is better than guessing and being wrong. I realize this is complete nonsense. Nobody has ever accused me of having a sane outlook on weight loss. HA.
So anyway, I have started tracking again...pretty regularly. I'm actually quite proud because I started last Friday...the first of a 3 day holiday weekend with C. He's rarely off work a full two days on the weekend...and he was off all three days last weekend. We celebrated by EATING ALL THE FOODS. But, I tracked everything. It was a big eye opener.
I've always been very honest that eating out makes it VERY hard for me to lose weight. I don't order the worst thing on the menu...and half the time I share something with C. But...something (maybe sodium or sugar?) causes me to gain. I also think that when we eat out...I am hungry sooner. Possibly because we share? I don't know. Bottom line, I know eating out is a tricky game that I need to reign in.
I've also started walking again. It's so hot here, but it's manageable if we go later in the evening. I've also been doing the treadmill thing, which I despise. I pray every single time I'm on the treadmill that my heart would be softened to it...and that I would crave time on it. So far...no success. Ha.
Anyway...I've been in these slumps before, and it's here that I usually give up. I'm happy to report that is not the case this time. I'm just working through it. I'm excited for the scale to start dropping again. I've got a long (long) journey ahead of me. But, even on the hardest days, I am motivated by the fact that I've lost nearly 35 pounds. That's a lot. The other day, in the gym, I saw that they had 35lb dumbells. So I picked one up. I didn't expect to be as heavy as it was...and I actually had to use both hands to pick it up/maneuver it out of the rack. I just stood there and held it for a second. It's CRAZY to think that last summer I was carrying that weight on my body all day everyday.
Makes me excited to drop the next 35 pounds!!!